Two jokes
What has two tires and no engine? A magic house 🏡
Two people were on a boat. They were afloat on water!
Why did Adolf Hitler wish he had two nuts?
Because he only had one.
Why did England beat Germany in World War Two?
Scissors beat paper.
Zozo the hobo has two frogs and a bunny cage from pet expo. Why? Because he wanted a pet, you idiot!
Two men are next to each other. One looks at the other and asks, "Are you a fascist?"
The other man responds, "No, why would I be?"
The first man pulls out a gun and says, "Are you sure?"
The second man says, "Never mind, I am a fascist!"
Roses are red, Violets are blue, How many bananas can I fit, Maybe two?
Your Roblox friend counts to 10, but she doesn't count to "too." Then Roblox says: "Damn. Your Roblox friend can't count."
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
Because they already lost two towers!
If you buy two condoms, but you're banging a woman, it's fine, don't throw it away, just make her transgender.
I dunno man, worked for me.
Yo mama's so fat that when Legolas killed her, Gimli counted her for two.
You were born so fat they needed two cranes to carry you.
People who are annoying. There are two of them.
1. Capet.
2. Akeld.
The winner is "Akeld," although Jordan Calerendiá comes in with a tie. Yah! Not really!
What do you get when an American talks to an Aussie and a Kiwi?
Two Aussie.
A man gave me 1 dollar that was ripped and laughed away. I wonder why he did that.
He did that on purpose to trick me, then I met him in the threes.
Two nuns in a bath.
There are more than two genders.
Q) What was the last pizza delivery to 9/11?
A) Two large planes.
Two times four is eight, now stop f***ing asking me!
What do you call it when you have two Indians, one Black, and a fat White?
A s'more.