Tree jokes
Why are trees afraid of dogs? Because they bark.
How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.
Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.
What did the tree say when spring finally arrived?
"What a re-leaf."
One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"
"Yo mama so fat when she got buried it took them all the trees on Earth for her coffin."
What's a rapper's favorite kind of tree?
CYPRESS HILL.
What's a tree's least favorite TV show? Chopped!
Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
Wave.
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”
If a tree could be any animal, what would it be?
Answer: A dog because of its bark lol. 😀
We saved a transvestite in a tight mini skirt from a tree.
I thought I showed a lot of balls.
When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
Answer: The family tree!
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
You pecan do it!
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.