Tree jokes
What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human can walk, and a tree 🌳 cannot walk.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.
On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."
On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.
Tongue twister: Through three cheese trees Three free fleas flew. While these three fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze; freezy trees made these tree's cheese freeze.
That's what made these three fleas sneeze. 👍😀
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
Q: What’s a koala's face song? A: Never gonna give you up BECAUSE it hangs on the tree and the person is the tree?
I'm pretty socially awkward when talking to girls, so I watched a video on how to keep conversations going.
The guy said to try and find things that remind you of something else and talk about that. For example, "that oak tree over there reminds me of the one we used to climb in my backyard as a kid. It used to be so much fun... and so on."
So next time I was having a conversation with a girl, I saw a red truck. So I said, "that red truck reminds me of the time my house burned down when I was 6." She said, "oh, and the fire trucks came to your house?" And I said, "no, I was getting molested in a red truck when my house burned down."
Who is white, hairy, and rusty in the tree?
It's Rambo Rabbit with a big gun that was.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
I was really rooting to tell that one.
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?
One's a fucking tree.
Do you think the founder of Dunlop was a retired tree surgeon or a hairdresser?
I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"
You were supposed to be born in the tree.
The sticks were your siblings.
Why didn't the koala climb up the tree?
Comment down below!
Did the leaf or the emo fall out of the tree? The leaf won. The rope stopped the emo.
I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.
I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.
Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."
What type of apple grows on a tree?
All of them.