Tree jokes
What did the fat guy say to the tree?
"Get me some coconuts!"
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?
The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.
Why are Christmas trees banned at the mental hospital?
They would hang themselves like ornaments.
When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...
What's tree plus tree?
Sticks!
Little Mickel was on a tree.
He fell down and hurt his knee.
He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.
What did the acorn say when it grew up?
Geometry.
(Geometry= "Gee, I'm a tree!")
What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
He was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
He was also dead.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see, monkey do.
Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
He was stapled to the first one.
Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.
Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).
Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.
Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.
Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.
Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.
MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.
LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.
Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.
If Donald Trump had sex with an orange, guess what his son would be?
An orange tree! :>
Curry hits 3s, and Kobe hit 3 trees.
What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone!
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears! :3
What did the math acorn say when it grew up?
"Gee-I'm-a-tree."
"Where do young trees go to learn?"
"Elementree school."
The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.
Why did the emo kid hate the tree?
It left him hanging.