Tree jokes
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.
If a tree could be any animal, what would it be?
Answer: A dog because of its bark lol. 😀
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
What was the oak tree's response to the apple tree's joke?
You should leaf it alone!
What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!
Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.
If Donald Trump had sex with an orange, guess what his son would be?
An orange tree! :>
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
He was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
He was also dead.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see, monkey do.
Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
He was stapled to the first one.
Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.
Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).
Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.
Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.
Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.
Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.
MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.
LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.
Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.
Curry hits 3s, and Kobe hit 3 trees.
Once, an orphan purposely fell out of a tree. He forgot his parents wouldn't catch him.
Why did the emo kid hate the tree?
It left him hanging.
What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?
They can both flash.
Why did the orphan get 1 mark out of 6 from a project yesterday? Because it was a family tree project.
3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?
Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!