Tree jokes
Little Mickel was on a tree.
He fell down and hurt his knee.
He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.
When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...
Why are Christmas trees banned at the mental hospital?
They would hang themselves like ornaments.
What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!
What did the acorn say when it grew up?
Geometry.
(Geometry= "Gee, I'm a tree!")
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
What was the oak tree's response to the apple tree's joke?
You should leaf it alone!
Can I pin your corpse to a tree?
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
What's the difference between a gynecologist and a genealogist?
One looks up the family tree, and the other looks up the family bush.
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
He was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
He was also dead.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see, monkey do.
Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
He was stapled to the first one.
Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.
Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).
Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.
Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.
Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.
Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.
MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.
LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.
Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.
If Donald Trump had sex with an orange, guess what his son would be?
An orange tree! :>
Curry hits 3s, and Kobe hit 3 trees.
"Where do young trees go to learn?"
"Elementree school."
The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears! :3
What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
Why did the orphan get 1 mark out of 6 from a project yesterday? Because it was a family tree project.