Tree jokes
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)
Oliver Tree just died in a helicopter crash?
He doesn't have to worry about that because, according to him, life goes onionionionionionionionionionion.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!
Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.
What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?
Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄
Father: "Fritz, light the Christmas tree!"
Why shouldn't you trust trees? Because they seem shady.
What do you call an orphan's family tree? A stump.
Hey, join me. I be near the tree. Bring things to.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree, which will hit the ground first?
The piece of paper because the rope will stop the emo.
What's the difference between an umbrella and a tree?
I don't know.
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."
What's worse than five babies stapled to one tree?
One baby stapled to five trees.
If you spin a fidget spinner, You'll end up spinning it too fast. When you end up spinning it too fast, it will make you fly away. When you fly away, you'll end up in a tree. When you end up in a tree, you'll see that your friends are hanging out without you. When you see that your friends are hanging out without you, you'll run away in the woods because you're sad. When you ran away in the woods, you'll see a bear. When you see a bear, it will chase you. When the bear chases you, you'll build a fort to protect yourself. When you build a fort to protect yourself, you then notice you're lonely. You'll become friends with the bear. When you become friends with a bear, you'll start to act like a bear. When you start to act like a bear, you will become a bear.
DO NOT BECOME A BEAR! NEVER PLAY WITH A FIDGET SPINNER!
I like my new... e-a-tree and a tree that is a magic house and a tree tree and a...
What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.
I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"