Tree jokes
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?
The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.
Little Mickel was on a tree.
He fell down and hurt his knee.
He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.
What did the acorn say when it grew up?
Geometry.
(Geometry= "Gee, I'm a tree!")
What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
If Donald Trump had sex with an orange, guess what his son would be?
An orange tree! :>
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
He was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
He was also dead.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see, monkey do.
Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
He was stapled to the first one.
Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.
Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).
Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.
Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.
Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.
Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.
MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.
LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.
Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.
Curry hits 3s, and Kobe hit 3 trees.
"Where do young trees go to learn?"
"Elementree school."
The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.
What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?
They can both flash.
Why did the emo kid hate the tree?
It left him hanging.
Once, an orphan purposely fell out of a tree. He forgot his parents wouldn't catch him.