If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first?

The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo

What do you call an orphans family tree A stump

Trees are so social. They’re always branching out.

Broccoli says" I look like a tree" Walnut says “I look like a brain”, Cashew says “I look like a kidney”, Banana says "can we change the topic please? "

I asked my girlfriend if he wanted to join my family tree… She dropped the rope and ran

What’s green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? – A pool table.

What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? LEAF me alone

Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.

Why don’t you ever see hippos hiding in trees? – Because they are really good at it.

What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “Ive kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "Ive kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde.” The Blonde then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?”

Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.

A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree He now knew how the Mercedes bends

What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

How can you save a depressed person from a tree? you cut the rope

If trees could kill you, they wood.

What’s a teacher favorite tree

A geometry

Why did the bat fall out of the tree? It couldn’t hang in there.

Q) What do trees call deforestation ? A) TREASON

The broccoli says ‘I look like a small tree’, the mushroom says ‘I look like an umbrella’, the walnut says ‘I look like a brain’, and the banana says ‘Can we please change the subject?’