Tree jokes
What’s white and crunchy and swings through trees?
A meringue-atang.
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to join my family tree... She dropped the rope and ran.
Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
How did the tree get sick?
It got tinsel-itis.
How do you get an emo out of a tree? Cut the rope.
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
A: To hide up cherry trees.
Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
A: Giraffes eating cherries.
What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?
A pool table.
What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!
I like trees when they are firmly stuck in a hole. PS, your hole.
What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?
Swimming trunks.
A guy walks into a magical forest looking to cut down a tree. The best one he can find is a magical talking tree. He holds his axe up ready to slice and begins to swing when the tree says, "Stop! I'm a magical tree. You can't cut me." "I'm a magical tree!" the man mocks, then as he goes to swing the axe he says, "You may be a magical tree... But you will dialogue!"
What is a difference between a tree, tree house that yyyyy?
Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.
Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"
The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."
Oliver Tree just died in a helicopter crash?
He doesn't have to worry about that because, according to him, life goes onionionionionionionionionionion.
Father: "Fritz, light the Christmas tree!"