Can I branch out to some tree puns. Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on

What’s big, green, has four legs and if it falls out of a tree it can kill you?

A pool table.

wo tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”

Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. “The’re in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes.”

What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.

Q: How do you get a one armed person out of a tree

A: you wave at them

Q: What do you call an orphans family tree?

A: a Stump

How do trees calculate square roots. They use log-arithms.

Teacher: Describe a penguin

Student: Black, White, Beak

Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan

Student: Sad, maybe depressed, No family

Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow

Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes

Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?

Student: It describes you tho.

Whats worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree?

One dead baby nailed to ten trees.

What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common - They both like fairies sitting on them.

Q:Why did the Koala Fall off the tree A:because it was dead Q:Why did the second Koala fall off the tree A:Because it was hit by the first Koala Q:Why did the third Koala fall off the tree A:Because it thought it was a game and joined in

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Just cut the rope.

What does a stick say when it falls down- Wood you help me up

What’s white and can’t climb a tree?

A refrigerator

Whats worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree? 1 dead baby hanging of 1000 trees

My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.

What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?

Swimming trunks.

What’s better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?

One dead baby nailed to ten!

A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flyin around about six inches above the water. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal.”

There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal.”

There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal.”

There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal.”

There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal.”

Then it all happened

The fly dropped six inches

The fish came up and caught the fly

The bear came out and caught the fish

The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich

The mouse went for the sandwich

The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond

The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.

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