Travel jokes

What is a Karen called in Europe?

An American.

What's the difference between China and New York City?

In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.

I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."

Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.

Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."

Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it wanted to look up a 10 year old girl’s skirt.

What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?

"Want me to pack your shit?"

Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)

Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.

Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.

What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!

Why do birds fly south?

Because it's too far to walk.

My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.

Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.

My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.

So did my friend on the right.

I had a dream of skiing.

Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?

Someone turned off flight mode.

(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)

What do you call a terrible bus company?

Stagecoach Highlands.

Where does a pencil go to vacation? Pennsylvania.

I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.

Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.

Where did George go?

Washington, D.C.