Travel jokes
What's the difference between China and New York City?
In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.
I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."
Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.
Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."
Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it wanted to look up a 10 year old girl’s skirt.
What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?
"Want me to pack your shit?"
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.
Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.
Why were the rappers late for their flight?
They forgot to pack.
A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?
The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.
The gay couple was still packing their shit.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
There were four people who went to land... only three returned... Why?
They left someone for memories!
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
Why are there no Africans on cruise ships from Africa to America?
Once again, they don't fall for the trick!
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.
Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.
What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?
Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.