Give a man a plane ticket, and he’ll fly for a day.
Push a man from a plane, and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?
When he is on the train.
Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?
Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.
A Muslim enters a building...
Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.
When my dad once went to the Virgin Islands, now it's just called the Islands.
Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it wanted to look up a 10 year old girl’s skirt.
I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.
What's the difference between China and New York City?
In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."
Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.
Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?
"Want me to pack your shit?"
Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.
Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.
Why did the steward not receive his passport? Because his face was not valid!
How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.
The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service.
EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.
Why was the train late?
It kept getting sidetracked.
Why do birds fly south?
Because it's too far to walk.
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
