Travel

Travel jokes

Sea

I hope you SEA me around later, 'cause I SHORE won't stay here for long.

American

If you’re American when you go in the bathroom...

... and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

Condom

Jack and Rose went on a cruise to do it in the water.

Jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.

Bus

The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service.

EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.

Couple

A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?

The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.

The gay couple was still packing their shit.

Pilot

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.

Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.

You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"

Map

Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.

Zoo

Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed, so I went to KFC instead. Their monkey enclosure is better anyway.

People

There were four people who went to land... only three returned... Why?

They left someone for memories!

Dad

What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?

Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.

Couple

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?

Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.

African

Why are there no Africans on cruise ships from Africa to America?

Once again, they don't fall for the trick!

Grandmother

My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.