Travel jokes
Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.
Why was the train late?
It kept getting sidetracked.
Why do birds fly south?
Because it's too far to walk.
Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.
My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.
So did my friend on the right.
I had a dream of skiing.
Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?
Someone turned off flight mode.
(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)
Memes
Why did the man go across the train tracks to get to the other side?
What do you call a terrible bus company?
Stagecoach Highlands.
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
I was on a flight to California, but my next in the Empire State Building.
Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.
If youβre American when you go in the bathroom...
... and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
I hope you SEA me around later, 'cause I SHORE won't stay here for long.
"Water exists."
Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"
Jack and Rose went on a cruise to do it in the water.
Jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.
The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service.
EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.
How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.
Why did the steward not receive his passport? Because his face was not valid!
There were four people who went to land... only three returned... Why?
They left someone for memories!