Travel jokes
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.
Why are there no Africans on cruise ships from Africa to America?
Once again, they don't fall for the trick!
Where does a pencil go to vacation? Pennsylvania.
Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.
Where did George go?
Washington, D.C.
Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.
My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.
So did my friend on the right.
I had a dream of skiing.
What do you call a terrible bus company?
Stagecoach Highlands.
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
If you’re American when you go in the bathroom...
... and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?
Someone turned off flight mode.
(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)
I hope you SEA me around later, 'cause I SHORE won't stay here for long.
"Water exists."
Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"
Why do birds fly south?
Because it's too far to walk.
Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.
I was on a flight to California, but my next in the Empire State Building.
Why was the train late?
It kept getting sidetracked.