Travel jokes

Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.

My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.

So did my friend on the right.

I had a dream of skiing.

I hope you SEA me around later, 'cause I SHORE won't stay here for long.

If you’re American when you go in the bathroom...

... and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

"Water exists."

Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"

Why was the train late?

It kept getting sidetracked.

Jack and Rose went on a cruise to do it in the water.

Jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.

The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service.

EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.

A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?

The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.

The gay couple was still packing their shit.

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.

Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.

You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"

Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.

Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed, so I went to KFC instead. Their monkey enclosure is better anyway.

There were four people who went to land... only three returned... Why?

They left someone for memories!

What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?

Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.

How do flat-earthers travel?

On a plane.

I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?

Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.

Time flies by, doesn’t it?

But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.

Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.

Why are there no Africans on cruise ships from Africa to America?

Once again, they don't fall for the trick!

My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.