Transformation jokes

I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a dick in the ass.

A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.

"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."

The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."

The End

Michael proved anything is possible in America. Where else can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman?

Sign outside a hair salon: "We'll color your hair or dye trying."

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?

AIDS.

How do you turn the Roman numeral IX (9) to a six?

Add the "S."

What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?

Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."

(I'm a trans man myself lol)

Cremation:

My last hope for a smoking hot body.

Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.

Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."

So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.