Tragedy jokes
I hate when I lose my white friends in the snow and my black friends in the dark. Where do I lose my friends from Afghanistan?
In an explosion.
I wanted to solve teen suicide, so I shot up a middle school.
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
Why does 9/11 only get a day, but Pride gets an entire month?
Because pride is a bigger tragedy.
I rate you a 9/11.
If messyourself was on the Titanic, he would die first.
How did the man with no arms commit suicide?
We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.
What's the difference between an orphan and Spider-Man?
There's no way home.
What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?
Nothing, they both fell.
Three construction workers were sitting on the bridge that they were building, having their lunch break. The first guy says, "If I get a Vegemite sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The second guy says, "If I get a peanut butter sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The third guy says, "If I get another strawberry jam sandwich, then I am going to jump off this bridge." The next day, the first guy gets a Vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich, and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All three guys jump off the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals, the first wife says, "If he just told me, I would have given him a different sandwich." The second guy's wife says, "It is all my fault. If only I knew." The third wife says, "I don't get it, he makes his own lunch."
"the floor is lava!"
- everyone, Pompeii 79 A.D.
I feel bad for the people who died in 2001. Those poor terrorists died doing their job.
Q. What do you call a baby born six months early?
A. A miscarriage.
What hit the ground first in 9/11? The people.
9/11 victims are the best readers.
They went through hundreds of stories in a few seconds.
The Twin Towers ordered a sesame bagel. They got the plane one instead.
Who were the people that survived 9/11?
The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
Why do orphans mehfjekskkskdjfjdkdkks?
Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents!