Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.
My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.
What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan?
The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!
What's 12 inches long, red, and when I force feed it to my wife, she cries?
Her miscarriage.
My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.
Why did the plane cross the sky?
To hit the Twin Towers...
Where did the orphans go when the orphanage blew up?
Everywhere.
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?
'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!
What's the difference between the Titanic and Georgie from "It"?
Georgie floated!
What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?
They both came from behind and crushed them.
How are Kobe’s death and people in 9/11 the same? They both hit the ground really hard.
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted to Roblox.
One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury.
One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignored it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened.
The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!"
Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too."
I don’t make 9/11 jokes; they have a tendency to crash and burn.
What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.
*At A Funeral For Someone Who Jumped Off A Building* Victim's Mom: "I wonder what was the last thing that went through his head..."
Me: "Honestly... Probably his ass."
