Tragedy jokes
(The lobby of the Hazbin Hotel. Everyone is gathered for an emergency meeting.)
CHARLIE: Okay, everyone, listen up! There's a new group of souls coming in who passed away in a school shooting! We have to be sensitive!
VAGGIE: (Scoffs) Good luck with that.
ANGEL: (Waving a hand nonchalantly) No problem, Charlie! I’m great with kids who have issues. My advice to them would be, “Don't be in school.”
(A beat of stunned silence falls over the room. Everyone just stares at him.)
ANGEL: (He blinks, looking genuinely confused at the silence.) Wait.
(Alastor lets out a loud, static-filled laugh.)
HUSK: (Deadpan, taking a huge drink) Too soon, Angel. Too soon.
What did the mom say to the twins?
"Go crash a plane!"
Why couldn't George Floyd become a Demon Slayer?
Because he couldn't breathe.
If someone says 67 one more time, I'll say 9/11 and swoop right under their feet like the Twin Towers.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?
The parents remember 9/11.
I'd make you fall harder than the South Tower.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?
At least the Twin Towers saw the parents they crashed on.
On September 11, Gemini ordered three pepperoni pizzas.
One came alone, one was late, and the third went the wrong way.
Do you know the F in "orphan" stands for family?
There is no F in "orphan".
Exactly.
What do you call a romance movie for Down syndrome people? Chromeo and Juliet.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it’s between 9/11.
Why do orphans love a room of mirrors?\n\nBecause they're surrounded by loved ones!
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pizzas and they only got plain: one came late, and then went to the wrong location.
What did the orphan say to the blind kid?\n\n"Hey, we both can't see our parents!"
Who lives under the sea?
Malaysia flight 370.
Q: What song were the pilots of 9/11 listening to? A: 'So Let's Set The World On Fire.'
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she died by a flying brick!
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she got hit by a bus.
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."
In 9/11, people were dying for the pizza. But it was at the bottom, so they had to die for it literally.