Traffic jokes

Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.

When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and then you remember there are no speed bumps.

You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.

A cop pulls over an old man.

The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

The old man said, "No."

You were born on the highway. That's where all the accidents happen!

What do you call a group of rappers stuck in traffic?

A cypher circle.

What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.

You were born on the highway. That's where most accidents happen.

When the speedbump in a school zone screams, so you go faster.

I got hit by a bus.

But the bus was my ex.

Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?

A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...

Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?

From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.

I parked in a disabled space today...

...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”

When you go over a speed bump, but you remember that there are no speed bumps in the school zone.

The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.