Traffic jokes
Why did the chicken cro-
UM, ACTUALLY, THE CHICKEN CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS IT'S UNDER SOME ROOSTER OR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN, AND THEY WILL DIE. 🤓
Why did the kid cross the road?
He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
Unfortunately, NASCAR has been canceled.
The woke people heard that it was a human traffic ring.
Why did the T-Rex 🦖 get a ticket?
He ran at a stomp light!
They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.
Why was the giraffe late to work?
Because it got caught in a giraffic jam.
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"
Why did Little Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles at traffic, it slows down.
Why do mostly younger orphans get adopted?
Because who wants a traffic an adult?
Why did the suicidal person cross the road?
To slow down traffic!
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
What did the traffic light 🚦 say to the car 🚗? Don’t look, I’m about to change!