A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"
Girlfriend: "No."
Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.
Your head is so big, it looks like traffic is able to fit on it!
Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
What do you call a group of rappers stuck in traffic?
A cypher circle.
Why did the telemarketer cross the road?
I don't know.
I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.
Why did little billy drop his ice cream cone?
Cuz he got hit by a bus while crossing the street.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
I got hit by a bus.
But the bus was my ex.
I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."
What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.
Why did the T-Rex 🦖 get a ticket?
He ran at a stomp light!
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
What did the traffic light 🚦 say? Oh.
Teacher: Why were you late?
Me: Traffic.
Teacher: Did I did it?
Me: Did I even blame it on you?
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow when she smiles at traffic, it slows down.
