Traffic jokes
What type of jam can you not eat?
Traffic jam.
Why do mostly younger orphans get adopted?
Because who wants a traffic an adult?
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.
Why did the kid cross the road?
He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
What do you call a group of rappers stuck in traffic?
A cypher circle.
Your head is so big, it looks like traffic is able to fit on it!
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"
Girlfriend: "No."
Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
What did the traffic light say to the other?
🚦🚥🚦 Stop looking, I'm changing!
I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.
In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?
Why did the suicidal person cross the road?
To slow down traffic!
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?
Cuz he got hit by a bus while crossing the street.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
I got hit by a bus.
But the bus was my ex.
Why are Chinese so good at jaywalking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.
I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."
What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...