Traffic jokes
What type of jam can you not eat?
Traffic jam.
It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.
Why do mostly younger orphans get adopted?
Because who wants a traffic an adult?
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"
Girlfriend: "No."
Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"
I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
Your head is so big, it looks like traffic is able to fit on it!
What did the traffic light say to the other?
🚦🚥🚦 Stop looking, I'm changing!
In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
Why did the kid cross the road?
He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.
What do you call a group of rappers stuck in traffic?
A cypher circle.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?
Cuz he got hit by a bus while crossing the street.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
I got hit by a bus.
But the bus was my ex.
I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."
What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.
Teacher: Why were you late?
Me: Traffic.
Teacher: Did I did it?
Me: Did I even blame it on you?
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.