Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
Why are Chinese so good at jaywalking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.
why cant Helen Keller drive. Because she's a women no seriosly why can't she drive. Because she's dead.
Why can’t Helen Keller Drive. It’s because she’s dead
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
I had to stop drinking because I got tired of waking up in my car, driving 90.
All the traffic stopping the cars, how do you spell that without any R’s?
That.
Q: What is a skeleton's favorite color?
A: Blue stop signs.
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
Why did the fat rape victim cross the road?
To block traffic
you know your fucked when the speed bump screams.
Unfortunately, NASCAR has been canceled.
The woke people heard that it was a human traffic ring.
What did the other traffic cone say to the other? Look away in changing
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To cut through traffic.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.
Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread, waiting for a traffic jam.
Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show.
He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare.
Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept.
Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it.
Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket.
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"
The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."
The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"
The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."
The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."
