A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says "Okay I'd like you to point to wherever it hurts". So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says "Here. Ow." She then pokes her arm and says "Here. Ow." She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say "I know what's happened to you." "What's happened to me??" The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, "You have a broken finger."
why does the please touch museum sounds like police touch musuem? because they gotta watch out for the pedos
Hee hee tuch my pp
Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light put when she touched him.
If you can’t touch your brain are see your brain you don’t have a brain?
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs? A: they are noticed for 13 years then left for noone to touch again.
Rules of dark humor 1.Everything shall be touched. 2. If it offends someone it shall not be touched.
My mum touch my friend but she wasn’t the she’s only 12
Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material
why did your mum touch me because she was a pedo
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried totouch it that night, next day I went to court.
I bet ur hairline gose inside ur private part and ur girlfriend can’t even touch it
A slag is like the first peace of bread in a loaf everyone touches it but no body wants it.
A little girl beinng Girl: "Forgive me Father for I have sinned"
Priest: "What did you do Child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
a blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"
Hee hee touched me
Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats" but none of them touch the man's penis and say "weII done"
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side so i crashed the car.
So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it jokes on her she doesn't have any fingers.
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.
