If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.
Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.
A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."
What's The Difference Between A Rubber And Micheal Jackson? Nothing, Kids Tounch Them Both.
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
What's the difference between a gamer and dog poop?
Dog poop touches grass.
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.
9/11 is like genders. There used to be two of them and now it’s a touchy subject.
Me: Hey friend!
Friend: Yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.
Friend: Touch.
Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)
Friend: Grass.
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass.
I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.
My Father touched me yesterday i called him a priest
What touches kids and is made out of plastic? Michael Jackson here hee
Touch Down.
I went to the doctor's yesterday. I said, "When I touch my back, it hurts. When I touch my knee, it hurts. When I touch anything, it hurts!" 😣 What’s wrong with me?
Doctor: You’ve broken your finger.
Donald Trump didn't build a wall because he likes going to islands to touch little girls.
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.
