100+ Best Touch Jokes - Page 9 - Worst Jokes Ever

Wall

Let's go covid · 4 years ago

Donald Trump didn't build a wall because he likes going to islands to touch little girls.

Air fryer

Composed Spider · 5 months ago

Pov: your bleeding out from 5 bullets in your chest, but the robber touches the air fryer

An illustration of Goku from Dragon Ball, in his Super Saiyan form, with spiky blond hair and green eyes, looking intensely serious or angry. He is partially obscured by shadow, with his chest and face visible, wearing a red top. A large, dark shadow of his head and spiky hair is cast on a textured grey background behind him.

Pane

Anonymous · 8 years ago

Q: Have you ever felt a window?

A: Did you feel the pane?

Gay

Kai :) · 3 years ago

no comment.

Social Interaction

Anonymous · 2 years ago

When one of yall likes physical touch, but the other is scared of it

Two meerkats are hugging each other. The text says "When one of yall likes physical touch, but the other is scared of it."

Wheel

Anonymous · 3 years ago

Just came up with a smart new way to make jokes. Try to figure it out without context

A screenshot of a website called "wheelofnames.com" with a wheel. The sections of the wheel contain: priest, prostitute, autistic, racist, transphobic, porn, woman, and shooting. To the right of the wheel there is a list with the same words. The text on top of the wheel says "The world stands with Ukraine". The website offers a feature to spin the wheel from within Discord.

Store

✨Jassy✨ · 3 years ago

Like if this is relatable

The image shows E.T. with a slightly cross-eyed expression. The text above him reads, "When your mom tells you not to touch anything in the store."

Man

Willy b · 6 months ago

Bro

Face mcshooty · 1 year ago

A meme featuring a man smiling with text above him that says, "when bro ran out of 🥜 so you whip out your dihh and touch tips with him and 🥜 in his dihh so he gets a refill."

Tonight

MEME LORD · 2 years ago

A brown, knitted doll figure, Sackboy, stands with arms out. Text says, "You're getting touched tonight!" Hot air balloons float in the background.

Girl

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a two-part meme. The top part reads, "Girls in Science class: Ewww I'm not touching a frog." The bottom part shows Kermit the Frog attached to a cross-like structure with the caption: "Our masterpiece is finished."

Pizza

Weight Gain · 5 months ago

Dont touch my burrp

A digital illustration of two furry characters. A massive, extremely obese green character with blue and pink ears and tail sits bloated. An orange canine-like character leans on the green character's body, feeding it a slice of pizza. Hand-drawn text surrounds them saying 'We both know you can fit more~', 'yay pizza', 'So Fat and Full BiG and ROund', and 'yummers'. A small inset in the top left shows the green character before getting this big, saying 'I'M SO Fat AND FULL ughhh'.

Autumn

⭐️🌙✨SUNNA AHMAD✨🌙⭐️ · 3 years ago

When you do not touch grass :

Two salt shakers are sitting on lounge chairs. One asks the other if they know it is autumn. The other salt shaker is surprised, saying "Wh--" In the bottom panel, the salt shaker's eyes are glowing red, and it asks, "IT'S AUTUMN ALREADY!?"

Floor

MEME LORD · 2 years ago

Spongebob is looking sad, seemingly about to fall over, with his arms stretched out. The comment says, "noo his spoochie touching the floor 😭".

Hand

DIANEE · 1 year ago

A black dragon with yellow eyes and white teeth looks directly at the viewer, while a hand is reaching for him. The text says "NO! NO TOUCHY! At least, not until you wash those hands of yours."

Satan

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A painting of Jesus with his arms outstretched. In the middle of the picture there are two drawings of characters, one of Satan as Soyjak and one of Jesus as Chad. The text reads, "As you can see, Satan, I portrayed you as Soyjak and me as Chad. You and your legions have been defeated once again. L+cope+seethe+touch light."

Machine

Nateツ · 2 years ago

A cartoon character, Ralph, looks up with a confused expression. The text on the image says, 'When you unplug all the noisy beeping machines in the hospital and everyone starts sleeping better. Why do I fix everything I touch?'

Thomas

Anonymous · 11 months ago

An illustration from a children's book shows Thomas the Tank Engine with a wide-eyed, shocked, and somewhat distressed expression. Behind him, another train with a smug, smiling face is positioned closely. The text above reads: "No train had ever touched Thomas like this before. His wheels felt weak."

Child

Toast ツ · 3 years ago

Relatable

The image shows a close-up of the cartoon character Rick from the animated show Rick and Morty. Rick is looking sideways and has a lollipop in his mouth. Above his head are the words "Wanna go touch children?" and below him are the words "You son of a bitch, I'm in."

Count dooku

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is a multi-panel format showing a scene from The Lord of the Rings in which a man with a helmet yells, "You will not touch him!" followed by a second panel of a dark figure who replies, "Fool." The third panel shows the same dark figure with swords saying, "I have been trained in your Jedi arts by Count Dooku." The final panel shows the man with the helmet looking confused.

Community talk

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Choke me like you hate me, but you love me Lowkey wanna date me when you fuck me (uwu) Touch me with the lights off and my chains on Baby, I'm not the right one you should wait on She a freak, lil' bad ho Gaspare told me kill it I said, "Let me grab my Death Note" Huh, she pulled me in like a lasso Sayin' that she know me, I don't even know her at though Ain't no daddy issues, then I won't even bother She say I kill … Read more

bombing the bomb (I kicked a child)

5 people online if y'all don't talk im going to start touching

DAP ME UP

yo anyone alive if so I have instructions for everyone. 1. Go touch grass