Touch jokes
Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.
How do inmates keep in touch?
They have cell phones.
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.
Why did your mum touch me? Because she was a pedo.
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.
Yo mama so fat, she didn't just cross the border; she crossed ALL the borders.
Short version: Yo mama so fat she touches every border.
Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."
I bet your hairline goes inside your private part, and your girlfriend can’t even touch it.
How do baseballs communicate?
They touch base!
I like touching things that have been in space. I was super excited when I got to meet an astronaut.
Go touch some grass, bro.
What do you call an IT teacher that touches his students?
A PDF file.
My gf told me I have to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
Your hairline can fit a truck without touching either side.
Why can you not let an orphan touch an iPhone 7? Because it would break if they touched the home button.
What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?
Answer: A promise.
Yo mama so fat, when she touched the stairs, it said, "To be continued!"
My respect for you didn't just go through the roof, it touched the fucking sun!
Roses are red, violets are blue. Don't touch the beds, they are sticky with white goo.
When baseball players want to get together, what will they do?
Touch base.