Touch

Touch jokes

Doctor

You know your doctor is gay when he asks you to touch your toes, and then you feel a rub on your back and a tickle on your anus.

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  • Kid

    What jumps higher than a basketball player?

    An emo kid, they never touch the ground.

    Face

    My chocky milk, don't you touch my chocky milk! It's mine! No it's not! It's your face! Ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooccccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

    Fork

    Fork pierces the flesh. Guided by hunger's demand, Savoury feast waits.

    Tines dig deep within, Seeking the sustenance craved, A mealtime delight.

    Belly grumbles loud, Yearning for nourishment's touch, Fork answers the call.

    Food on the platter, Fork dances with anticipation, To satiate hunger's plea.

    Digestion begins, Fork's journey now complete, Nourishing the soul.

    Why does the fork go? To bring joy to empty hearts, Satiating needs.

    In the stomach's depths, Fork finds purpose and solace, A culinary bond.

    With each mealtime tale, The fork carves memories deep, In stomachs it rests.

    Emo kid

    A blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"

    Memes

    Butt

    Roses are red,

    foxes are red,

    I like your butt, let me touch it forever.

    Alien

    An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.

    The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.

    Man

    Roses are red, violets are blue, Old man Jeffrey touches the youth.

    Cocaine

    You're snorting cocaine with your buddies. Your eyes are closed, feeling the bliss of drugs, when suddenly something wet touches your nostril. Your buddy Mark stuck his PENIS in your face. You look up at Mark, and he says, "I'm sorry," and runs away, his pants still down.

    Realm

    In the realm of words, I shall embark, To craft a verse, both bold and stark, Thomas Bulgin, a name that ignites, A tale of length and moist delights.

    Free from the chains of structured rhyme, I wander through this realm, sublime, Thomas Bulgin, a phrase so strange, Evoking thoughts that rearrange.

    Long, it stretches, like a winding road, Leading us to depths, yet to be bestowed, In syllables, it dances and it plays, A journey we embark, in myriad ways.

    Moist, a word that teems with life, A touch of nature, amidst the strife, It whispers of raindrops on tender leaves, Of dew-kissed petals and gentle heaves.

    Thomas Bulgin, a phrase so surreal, Unleashing emotions, that time cannot seal, In this short verse, I strive to convey, A glimpse of what these words might say.

    So let us ponder, the mystery untold, Of Thomas Bulgin, both long and bold, For in the realm of poetry's sweet embrace, Even the unusual finds its rightful place.

    Octopus

    Cousin: Hey, is that an octopus?

    Me: Yes, what, it is just an octopus.

    Cousin: Oh yeah, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Octopus touch me!

    Me: What, it is just one..... ummmmm dad cousin d[id].

    Fortnite

    I love Fortnite because I touched grass for the first time and also I love Chung Lei.

    Gun

    My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.

    Teacher

    How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.

    Cop

    Why do kids want to become cops? They want to find the guy who touched them.

    Fantasy

    In the realm where words wander free, A tale unfolds, unbounded and carefree, Jayden, a curious soul, embarks on a quest, An enigmatic journey, where desires manifest.

    Marching through the corridors of cyberspace, He delves into realms of passion and grace, With a click and a glance, a world awakes, As pixels dance, his curiosity takes.

    In the dimly lit room, shadows play, Jayden surrenders to this clandestine display, A voyeur to fantasies, unspoken and raw, He gazes upon screens, an uncharted draw.

    Whispers of temptation echo in his ears, As he navigates through fantasies and fears, The allure of the forbidden, an intoxicating call, Jayden's senses entangled, in a mesmerizing thrall.

    But amidst the symphony of moans and sighs, A realization dawns, awakening his eyes, For behind the allure, a truth is revealed, In the depths of this world, a heart left concealed.

    Within the flickering scenes of pleasure's masquerade, Lies a yearning for connection, a soul's crusade, Jayden, march forward, beyond the screens, Seek the embrace of love, where true beauty gleams.

    For within the realm of flesh and bone, A deeper fulfillment can truly be known, In the tender touch, in the warmth of a kiss, Lies a bliss beyond pixels, a love that won't dismiss.

    So, let Jayden march, with newfound grace, From the fantasies that once held his embrace, For the world awaits, with its wonders untold, Where love reigns supreme, a story yet to unfold.