Tonight jokes

Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on your ass!

TONIGHT

FOR FUN

YEAH YEAH YEAH

Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.

It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.

Pastor: I don’t normally swear, but tonight I am going to, just for the halibut!

Mike, ID is coming tonight.

I'mma monch ur nan's feet at 3 am tonight, ngl.

The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”

So, a guy and his brother were walking in the woods, and his brother said, "It's getting dark out here, can we go home?"

The man said, "I know, think how I will feel walking home tonight!"

I am the Titanic, and I'm looking for a place to crash tonight.

What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?

I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!

It's this girl named Deaf, what a weird name, but I know that 'cause I was ear hustling.

But anyway, everytime I call her, she doesn't answer. I wanna clap some cheeks tonight, how could she hate me when she don't know me?

What's Michael Jackson's favorite things to say to little boys? "I'd really love to see you-hoo-hoo tonight," and "I can't smile without you-hoo-hoo."

Orphan: What are you doing tonight?

Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.

On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?

"Can we do 69?"

"How about 9/11 because we're going to crash tonight?"

There is gonna be a huge party at the orphanage tonight because the parents ain't home.

My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.

Sex sex sex free sex tonight, I mean 666-3629.

Hey! My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?

I saw three people online on this site... Hope you guys will commit suicide tonight.

A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.

That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.

That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.