Touch jokes
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."
If you can’t touch your brain or see your brain, you don’t have a brain?
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?
"U Can't Touch Kids."
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.
What do you call an IT teacher that touches his students?
A PDF file.
Your forehead is so big that your face touches your chin.
I bet your hairline goes inside your private part, and your girlfriend can’t even touch it.
Yo mama so fat, she didn't just cross the border; she crossed ALL the borders.
Short version: Yo mama so fat she touches every border.
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
What's the difference between a gamer and dog poop?
Dog poop touches grass.
I like touching things that have been in space. I was super excited when I got to meet an astronaut.
What time is bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.
Yo mama so ugly a rapist wouldn't even touch her with a barge pole.