Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the boy put the potatoes 🥔 on the kitchen floor?
He wanted to mash potatoes!
Aboriginals around for 50,000 years invented the spear.
A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
Why do pedophiles always lose a race?
Because they come in a little behind.
We don't read backwards.
Why did the brother cross the road? Because the sister farted.
One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
I went to an orphanage and had a yo mama smack down. That's it.
What is purple, small, and rinsed off in a drainer?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits a car's windshield at 100 mph?
Its ass.
I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words. They wanted to hear them. They are: "you still holding the ladder?"
Doctor: You'll be at peace soon, sir.
Me: What? Am I dying?
Doctor: No, your wife is.
How do you put an end to MeToo? Just fill those combined showers with transgender women.
What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha.
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
Did you know that Uranus is as big as the moon?
I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.
Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.