Worst Jokes Ever
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Jesus and Satan are just basically Homer and Flanders. One tries to help the other, only for Satan to just say, "Shut up!"
Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!
Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”
Person 2: “What happened?”
Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”
Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”
Person 1: “I was in my car.”
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!
Welcome to Arby's, where your babies become our gravy!
2,996 kill streak, boom!
What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?
Special Forces.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Di.
Di who?
See, easily forgotten.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me:...
Me: Bitch, please.
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's parents?
The clock actually comes back around.
I can make 9/11 jokes, but every time I do, they crash and burn.
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"
Me: power button.
Buy KFC = 1 more orphan in our fryers.