Worst Jokes Ever
Why do I go around making orphan jokes? Because they can't go crying to their parents. 😅
I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.
I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.
Friend 1: I don't want to jump.
Friend 2: Me neither.
Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.
Friend 1: *jumps*
Friend 2: *jumps*
Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!
Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.
My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."
what's worse than a baby in a trash can? A baby in two trash cans.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
Everything is made in China... except for baby girls.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got genital warts, Soon you will, too!
There was a woman from Ealing, she had a peculiar feeling. She laid on her back, opened her crack, and pissed all over the ceiling.
Shit, I’m never gonna try to commit suicide again. I almost died!
What is Michael Jackson’s favorite song? “Little Drummer Boy.”
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
Why do people want to jump off buildings?
Because they want to become Superman.
Quote for the day.
I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.
"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."
Also, loving is so much more to give instead! Always remember to love!!! Best-Gwen :)
What's a prisoner's favorite game?
Hangman!
What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...
Your forehead is so big you could roast meat on it.