Worst Jokes Ever
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
'Cause the players are always dribbling everywhere!
Why did the gorilla leave the mafia headquarters for good?
What is black, white, and red all over?
A sunburnt zebra.
If someone with a lisp dropped a hammer on their foot, would they be Thor?
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snowbank.
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
I sleep in a castle once every 2 weeks.
It's my fort knight.
What do you call a Russian pharmacist?
"Ivan Astichestykov."
Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?
Get a head in life by decapitating someone.
Why did two fours skip lunch? They already ate.
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!
How do you keep a moron in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.
The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."
The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."
Chuck Norris is so immortal, even he killed Death.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Susan. Susan who? Season your chicken, it's too plain!
Where does the resistor go after a long day?
It goes Ohm.
Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.
A man walked into a bar...
Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My grandad broke his legs.
To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.