Worst Jokes Ever
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.
He said the ATM outside.
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
What is the female version of t-bagging? A clam slapping.
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
Why do orphans only have 363 days?
They don’t have Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
I would say life's a joke, but I can't, because jokes have a meaning.
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.
What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
What's an orphan's least favorite store?
Home Depot.
I know an orphan named Zara, and he has never had homemade food.
What's a benefit of being an orphan?
No one makes yo mama jokes to you.
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
Yo mama so ugly, when she was born, the doctor tried to put her back in.