Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a sophisticated American?

A Canadian.

On the lines of "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous,"

I'm dying to live forever!

Here’s a trick I learned to do on the calculator.

Sally had 69 boobs (69) which was too too too many (69222), so she went to the doctor on 51st street (6922251), and he said to take a certain pill 8 times a day (6922251 times 8), which left her (flip your calculator over)

Boobless.

I was raped by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.

What's Thanos' favorite game?

Half-life.

What do you call a German lesbian?

A krautmuncher.

I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.

Why can't an orphan play Family Feud? Because it has to have a family.

A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."

"Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.

The boy answered, "It's Michelle."

How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet.

He scares the shit out of it.

What do you call an Asian prostitute?

Suck Mi Dong.

Do you know Putin?

Put in these balls in your mouth.

Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants?

A: He heard the snowblower coming.

What is Hitler's favorite book? "Hitler and the chamber of secrets."

Your hairline is so bad that it makes Lebron's hairline look normal.

Why do orphans like to play GTA?

Because it's the only time they are wanted.

Why is a moon rock tastier than an Earth rock?

Because it’s a little meteor.

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

Because they don't want to be mistaken as feminists.

Why are mountains always tired? Because they don't Everest.