Worst Jokes Ever
My pencil sharpener when I bleed:
And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.
Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill. And now there's little Franky.
I love you like my cuts.
Deeply.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."
Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"
Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."
Chuck Norris gets pulled over by a cop, and the cop gets a ticket.
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much, so I unplugged his life support. Luckily, I remember his last words: "You little bastard!"
I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.
If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.
Why do basketball players like cookies? Because they can dunk them!
My wife asked me to help cure her from sucking her thumb. So I drew a cock on it.
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
It's the season of giving, so I'll be giving up!
What do you call a redneck sister who runs faster than her brothers?
A virgin.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture with it's family?
A self-fie.
What's the difference between an asshole and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
How to punish a blind kid, rearrange his bedroom.
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
I don't know, I'm just the drone pilot.