What is Michael Jackson's favorite planet? Uranus.
Worst Jokes Ever
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
Down Syndrome is already a joke.
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.
The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked away with her cardboard box.
What did the octopus say to the other? "Let’s hold hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands."
Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
What do you call a disabled Arab?
Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).
Why do orphans drink water with cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
