Worst Jokes Ever
what is the fastest country? iran.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
They're both accidents.
Curry.
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?
UNPROTECTED SEX.
What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.
What makes sad people jump? Bridges.
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry peeling onions!
Your mama so ugly that even Rick Astley had to give her up.
I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
A wild Iceberg appears! Titanic uses ram! It is not very effective. (Titanic sinks.)
How can you tell if your wife is dead? -- The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up.
What joke do you tell an orphan?
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not your parents.
I saw a little kid on their bike before. So I ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.
I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.
My grandad was shocked to learn that lightning can strike in the same place twice.
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.
My dog is pregnant. I'm gonna be a... I don't know?
Ohhh, an owner.