Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
What do the films The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!
Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?
Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.
Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.
Want to hear a joke about prostitution? Never mind, it's whoreable.
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
I just found out I'm colorblind. News came out of the purple.
What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?
An avalanche.
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
Teacher: I was an orphan once.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.
Women: “Men used to go to war, now they go to clubs.”
Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked, now it’s $3.99.”
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏
I like my men how I like my coffee...
WITHOUT A FUCKING VAGINA!
Skeletons can't play church music, obviously. They got no organs.
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
You're so poor, when you kicked a can, a man asked, "Are you moving?"
What are kidnappers' favorite shoes? White vans.
