Worst Jokes Ever
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is!
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?
Because daddy never came back home with the milk.
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."
"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.
After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."
Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.
A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.
You need to be a complete dick.
I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me while he was dying.
It seemed really important to him that I have it.
What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.
What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?
I've never been inside a submarine.
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?
Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.
Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.
Want to hear a joke about prostitution? Never mind, it's whoreable.
What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
What do the films The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.
What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?
An avalanche.
I just found out I'm colorblind. News came out of the purple.