"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
Worst Jokes Ever
Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?
Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.
Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.
I just found out I'm colorblind. News came out of the purple.
What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?
An avalanche.
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?
Because daddy never came back home with the milk.
A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.
You need to be a complete dick.
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.
Teacher: I was an orphan once.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
Women: “Men used to go to war, now they go to clubs.”
Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked, now it’s $3.99.”
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏
I like my men how I like my coffee...
WITHOUT A FUCKING VAGINA!
Skeletons can't play church music, obviously. They got no organs.
