Worst Jokes Ever
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
I told a kid his dad is a magician because he disappeared and never came back home.
Google is a woman because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before it makes suggestions.
I don’t think 9/11 jokes are funny... they just crash and burn.
Did you hear about the new sex doll they've invented for Muslims?
It blows itself up!!
Crappy joke warning: How does Spongebob have fun? He smokes seaweed.
Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.
But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.
Your mom is so fat that if she sits on top of a gas station, she will lower the prices.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question, feminists don't change anything.
I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.
The gayest person on Earth is Pac-Man.
You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
Why are lesbians bad at math?
Because they can't multiply.
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
Yo mamma is so slutty, she uses a submarine as a dildo because it's long, hard, and filled with seamen.
How do fat people settle arguments?
By bumping into each other to see who falls over first.
What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?
“Just beat it! Just beat it!”
How did the black woman name her 4 babies?
Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone.
How did she differentiate them?
She called them by their last names.