Worst Jokes Ever
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
Teacher: I was an orphan once.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.
Women: “Men used to go to war, now they go to clubs.”
Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked, now it’s $3.99.”
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!
For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏
I like my men how I like my coffee...
WITHOUT A FUCKING VAGINA!
Skeletons can't play church music, obviously. They got no organs.
You're so poor, when you kicked a can, a man asked, "Are you moving?"
What are kidnappers' favorite shoes? White vans.
What did the orphan say to his parents? Nothing, cause they left him.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
Your hairline is so bad even your gay friend is straighter than it.
It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.
Who can drink 20 liters of fuel without dying? A jerrycan.
What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"