Worst Jokes Ever
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?
Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.
Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
I just found out I'm colorblind. News came out of the purple.
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.
What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!
What do the films The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?
An avalanche.
My uncle and I have somewhat of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
Teacher: I was an orphan once.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
Women: “Men used to go to war, now they go to clubs.”
Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked, now it’s $3.99.”
What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.
The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!
Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?
Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!