Worst Jokes Ever
A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.
You need to be a complete dick.
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt, she says, "Oh, what chest!" "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby," he replies. Then he takes off his pants, she says, "Oh, what legs!" He says, "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running. He catches her and says, "Why were you running?" She said, "I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."
Want to hear a joke about prostitution? Never mind, it's whoreable.
What kind of beer is an orphan's favorite?
Foster's!
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is!
What do you call a white guy with a 10 inch cock?
Asleep. Because that motherfucker's dreaming.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.
I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me while he was dying.
It seemed really important to him that I have it.
What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.
I just found out I'm colorblind. News came out of the purple.
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
What do the films The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!
Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?
Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.
Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.
I always enjoy family reunions.
It's always a good time meeting up with my exes.
What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?
An avalanche.