Worst Jokes Ever
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
I heard life was a gift. Well, I hope they kept the receipt, because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!
When people tell me to "go to hell," I tell them their address.
There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
It's called Costa Coffee because it's short for "Cost A lot for boiled, rancid dishwater."
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 buckle some more.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 open the door.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
What do you call an emo friend group?
The Suicide Squad.
What's Peter Pan's favorite place to eat out?
Wendy's?
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
What did one emo kid say to the other?
"I like ya cut, G."
What is an orphan's favorite No Way Home?
Clap em sis!
What’s the difference between a Rubik's cube and a penis? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."
Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"
Love that dress; it would look much better on my floor, though.
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.