Worst Jokes Ever

A boy walks into class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."

Another boy walks in with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."

Then a girl walks in, and the teacher says, "And where on earth have you been?" The girl says, "Well, you see..." Then the teacher stops her and says, "Let me guess, on a peach hill?" The girl says, "No, on 2 big cucumbers."

Why was the chicken in trouble?

For using fowl language!

Why was 10 afraid?

Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

"I work with animals," the man said to his date.

His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"

"I am a butcher," said the man.

What type of sandals do frogs wear?

Open-toed.

What do you tell twins that are in love with each other?

Go fuck yourselves!

Cooper is funny.

Cooper is the best to ever live.

You're so trash that when I dropped you off, I got a ticket for littering.

Hi Ethan!

Hi Eric Le!

You really put the R in special.

Lemme tell you a little story.

It’s night. You’re in your room, trying to sleep. But you keep hearing it—scratching. Soft at first. Like fingernails on wood. You tell yourself it’s rats, or the house settling. But it keeps going. Slow... then faster.

So finally, you get outta bed. You get on your hands and knees, put your ear to the floor. And you hear it. A voice. Whispers. Crying.

Your heart’s pounding. You grab a crowbar. You pry up the floorboards. One by one. Your sweat’s dripping into the dust. The noise gets louder.

And finally... you peel back the last plank.

And you see these eyes. Wide and terrified. And a pale little face staring up at you.

BOOOOOOO!!!!

It’s Anne Frank.

If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple 'thank you' is all I need.

Not all this 'How did you get in my house?' business.

What does every pirate hate?

A small chest with no booty.

I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.

It was a Risk I was willing to take.

An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.

Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!

Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.

Doctor: I didn’t.

I’ve just discovered that cock fighting is done with chickens.

12 months of training completely wasted.

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?

A can't opener.

I used to be into fitness. But running from my problems got exhausting.