Worst Jokes Ever
A boy sat in his bed, watching a meteor shower. He was a vengeful child and wished that his parents would no longer bother him whilst he was gaming.
The next morning, he woke up to find his mother had passed away in the night. Clearly his wish had worked. However, his father worked a midnight job, and as such the boy was very confused when he returned home from work, expecting him to have met the same fate.
The two of them then looked out the window in thought, only to find the milkman lying dead on the pavement.
Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.
Tell your mom I don't like waiting in queues.
A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?
Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.
Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.
What do you call a coffee without water? Africano.
You really put the R in special.
What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.
Americans leave without saying goodbye, and Russians say goodbye without leaving.
Why do rappers love the gym?
'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
Lemme tell you a little story.
It’s night. You’re in your room, trying to sleep. But you keep hearing it—scratching. Soft at first. Like fingernails on wood. You tell yourself it’s rats, or the house settling. But it keeps going. Slow... then faster.
So finally, you get outta bed. You get on your hands and knees, put your ear to the floor. And you hear it. A voice. Whispers. Crying.
Your heart’s pounding. You grab a crowbar. You pry up the floorboards. One by one. Your sweat’s dripping into the dust. The noise gets louder.
And finally... you peel back the last plank.
And you see these eyes. Wide and terrified. And a pale little face staring up at you.
BOOOOOOO!!!!
It’s Anne Frank.
How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?
Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.
Americans: We drive on the right side of the road.
The British: We drive on the left side of the road.
Russia: ROAD IS ROAD. *crashing noises follow*
Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.
And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.
The earth used to be flat.
Till they buried yo mama.
What do you call an orphan that grows to be a priest?
Fatherless.
When the North Tower saw the South Tower collapse, he would say, "I'm still standing."
What do you call an emo with no breasts? A cutting board.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.