Worst Jokes Ever
Q. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
A. Because it has a silent pee.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
One time I tried running to home, but I forgot I don't have one, so I stayed at third.
Yo mama so fat that if we cut her open, we could stop world hunger.
On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"
The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."
The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"
The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."
If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."
I was gonna tell a memory loss joke, but I forgot it.
Me: Dad, my phone is broken.
Dad: How?
Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.
Dad: Stupid.
Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don’t have mothers and Father’s Day!
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
If you were to ask me, "What is the easiest job in the world?", it would be an Australian psychiatrist.
"G'Day, G'Day...how you doing...no worries, next!"
Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
If you read this, you lost your v card.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO YOU?
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.