Worst Jokes Ever
A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"
Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?
Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.
A kid had school today.
He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
How do you get the depressed kid out of the tree? You cut the rope.
My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.
Your sister is so ugly, she made Hello Kitty say goodbye.
What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.
Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.
Why don't you act like an amoeba and split?
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
I heard a joke about chocolate.
It wasn’t that funny.
I just Snicker-ed.
Beneath this monumental stone Lise, 80 pounds of skin and bone.
Never hide something behind a bookshelf. It's the oldest trick in the book!
I love Little Mix.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye, matey!
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"