Worst Jokes Ever
One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!
What do the Twin Tower survivors order from Tim Hortons? A plane bagel.
I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.
What do you call a coffee without water? Africano.
A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?
Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.
A boy sat in his bed, watching a meteor shower. He was a vengeful child and wished that his parents would no longer bother him whilst he was gaming.
The next morning, he woke up to find his mother had passed away in the night. Clearly his wish had worked. However, his father worked a midnight job, and as such the boy was very confused when he returned home from work, expecting him to have met the same fate.
The two of them then looked out the window in thought, only to find the milkman lying dead on the pavement.
Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.
Better Friday the 13th than any Monday.
I bought a belt made of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
Why do black people have nightmares? Because the last person who had a dream got shot.
What did Osama give the Windows on the World restaurant in the WTC as a rating when he ate it? A 9/11!
Q. What does a slutty mermaid get? A. Crabs.
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
A team of cops and a news reporter are at a home where a violent crime has been committed. The head news reporter, in front of the camera, says, "A woman in this house has killed her husband because he stepped on the floor while she was mopping." He then turns around and asks a cop, "Has the woman been arrested yet?" The cop replies, "Not yet, we're waiting for the floor to dry."
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
Your mum is a Rune Giant.
My anxiety has anxiety.
What do you call two natives in a ditch?
A sleepover.
Tell your mom I don't like waiting in queues.
How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?
Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.