Worst Jokes Ever
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
Ever seen twins?
If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
What kind of air does Ariana breathe?
Helium?
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a touchy subject.
Are you French? Because I Eiffel for you.
What do you call it when Panera Bread gets painted red?
Panera Red.
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
What did one emo kid say to the other?
"I like ya cut, G."
Why can the orphan only buy 1 ice cream cone?
He can't afford a family pack.
Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.
What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.
There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
What do high school kids and Dow have in common? They both test chemicals.
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."
Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."