Worst Jokes Ever
What is 9+9? 18.
What is 9+10? 19.
What is 9+11? -2996.
9/11 wasn’t the date, it was the score.
Inflation is so bad, McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.
Don't challenge Death to a pillow fight.
Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushion.
I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.
What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty laundry!
What’s the difference between a fetus and a jar of pickles?
The pickles aren’t as tasty in a jar.
My father always used to say:
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
Until the accident.
Don’t you hate it when you are driving in a school zone and the speed bump starts screaming?
We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?
“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”
Why is Marcus gay? Because he's gay.
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!
Fuck off!
What do you call a squirrel that flies? A flying squirrel.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
My chance of finding love.
Asshole.
Timmy has 5 apples.
His train is 7 minutes early.
Calculate the mass of the sun.