Worst Jokes Ever
Why does God hate me?
Because I'm a gay minority who fights for women's rights.
"Kill yourself. Stop thinking whether or not to do it, you dumb fucking cunt, no one likes you. Jump off a fucking 3 story building, bitch."
Aaron and Ben meet on Grindr. They have a drink and have sex. They wake up in the morning in bed. Aaron says, "I'm so glad I got it out." Ben replies, "What? Oh, just the HIV."
Why did Jimmy throw the clock out the window? Because it reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man who knife-raped his wife.
What did Sally get for Christmas?
Cancer.
What do you call Hitler?
Gay.
It’s raining, it’s pouring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed a politician in the jungle yesterday?
I hear it hurt like hell.
When I go to bed, my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick and beats me with it.
Why did Marx never drink Earl Grey?
Because proper tea is theft.
What is it called when a cow sings? A lawsuit.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
This is funny.
How do you clean ash off a stove with chemicals?
Why is calculus called calc? Because you need a calculator. Lol.
Julius's wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).
Wat?
What did Allan say to William, his sister, when he stepped on his toe? "OWWW Mitosis."
I hate it when I accidentally eat out my dog, lol.
Have you heard about the movie about constipation?
Me neither, it hasn't come out yet.