Worst Jokes Ever

So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.

That’s the punch line.

People in wheelchairs should really stand up for themselves!

Stop with the orphan jokes. We're running out of orphans to joke about.

What is mad cow disease?

There's gonna be 8 planets right after I destroy Uranus.

What’s the best part of stage four cancer?

A: There’s no stage five.

What's the difference between Jesus and Christmas tree lights?

They can both flash.

Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot some kids inside of you.

My friend: "Hey, I see a dwarf!"

Me: "Where?"

Friend: "In front of me."

Why does Aaron have no friends? Because his spine is weird and he is fat.

Why didn’t the orphan play baseball?

Because I took the bat and swung it at their kneecaps, and now they can’t run. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

What is a depressed kid's favorite game?

Hangman.

Me: "What are you doing??"

Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"

Me: "I don't know."

Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"

Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"

Don't bully kids.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his wife changed the Wi-Fi password.

What hit the floor first, the emo or the apple? The apple, the rope stopped the emo.

Priests are priests.

My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.

She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."

Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?

Little Johnny: "Your wife."

There were 3 Gay Fish in a Tank. One says to the others: "How do you drive this thing?"

Like this joke if you LOLed! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I wish my ex-wife would take me back. :(