Worst Jokes Ever
Q: Why do orphans love boomerangs?
A: Because they actually come back.
Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...;” “Johnny!” shouted his mother. “Stop swearing!” “But mom!” Little Johnny protested, “That’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!”
The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. “No, no,” said the teacher, terrified. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.’”
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
What did one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Robin! Jump in the Batmobile."
Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!
I know 5 fat people, and your mama is 4 of them.
What is an orphan's favorite period? Homeroom.
Being alive is so expensive, I am not even having a good time doing it.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
What do emos like to do when they're sad?
They play violin on their wrists.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head N Shoulders.
Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.
Son: Why?
Father: You’ll need them there.
I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."
What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?
Ice, Ice Baby!!
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
You are getting Cole for Christmas, you shit fuckers.
A patient visiting his doctor asked him if he had ever laughed at a patient.
The doctor said, "I have never in 25 years of practice ever laughed at a patient."
Reassured, the patient drops his trousers and underpants.
Immediately the doctor burst out into loud raucous laughter when he sees that the patient has a penis the size of a cocktail sausage.
After about 10 minutes the doctor manages to get himself under control.
Swiftly apologising he says to the patient, "Sorry about that. How can I help you?"
The patient says, "Have you got any cream for it? It's swollen."