Worst Jokes Ever
What does a peeing pterodactyl sound like?
Nothing, the pee is silent.
Where would a snowman go on his days off of work?
Snowhere.
A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"
Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"
"Our wedding video."
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson on a primary school oval. 😂
What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.
What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy?
"Shhhhhhh, this might hurt a little."
Ever heard of iLadies? I laid deez nutz on yo' face!
What runs but never stops?
There’s going to be a wild party at the orphanage tonight...
The parents aren’t home.
NWA: Straight Outta Compton.
Kobe Bryant: Straight Outta the Helicopter.
An emo girl and a squirrel both fall out of a tree. Who hits the ground first? The squirrel. The rope stops the emo girl.
You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
Who is not allowed to watch PG movies?
Orphans.
Yo mama so fat, she uses a mattress as a diaper.
A man died and went to heaven. Here he met Jesus. There were two clocks. The man asked, "What's with the clocks?" Jesus answered, "This is Mother Theresa's clock. She has not lied, so the clock hasn't moved. This is Abraham Lincoln's clock; he's only lied twice, so it's moved twice." "Where's Donald Trump's?" the man asked. Jesus replied: "It's in my office. I'm using it as a ceiling fan."
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.
God: Who ever kills Hitler will go to heaven.
Hitler: 👌👌👌👌
God: 😩😩😩😩
So I was digging in the garden and I found some treasure. I was gonna tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging in the garden.
What sea creature can add up? A octoplus.
Why couldn’t the orphan play Xbox? Because there was no home button.