Worst Jokes Ever
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite song?
"Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes."
What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?
Netflix and pill.
What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?
A Shawarmano Cameldo!
What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?
Consensual Rapper 7.
Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?
Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!
What do you call a gay Eskimo?
A snow blower.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...
...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?
"Baby, now we got bad blood."
My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."
The little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "Well, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit."
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Sum Ting Wong.
Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes? They literally look this shit up just to complain.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.
You're so fat that you only know 3 letters: KFC.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
What do gay people get for Christmas?
Discrimination.