Worst Jokes Ever
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?
One's a superhero, one's a command.
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
What do you call a flat emo?
A chopping block🖤
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!
I am no longer anonymous.
A Muslim enters a building with 100 passengers and an airplane.
Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?
Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."
What is Hitler's favorite animal?
A dolphin.
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?
Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?
"Baby, now we got bad blood."
What do you call a gay Eskimo?
A snow blower.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.