Worst Jokes Ever
What do emos like to do when they're sad?
They play violin on their wrists.
Why was the orphan so successful?
They told him, "Go big or go home," he only had one option.
I know 5 fat people, and your mama is 4 of them.
Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!
Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.
I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!
I have a lot of respect for trans women.
That surgery takes balls!
I played the Angry Birds theme while watching a 9/11 documentary.
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.
My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
Why couldn't George Floyd become a Demon Slayer?
Because he couldn't breathe.
Alabama's saying: It's not cheating if we’re all siblings.
I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.
I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."
What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."
The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"
"Nein," said the old man.
Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.