Worst Jokes Ever
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.
Wanna hear a joke about the Flash?
"Never mind, it's too fast."
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
Every zodiac sign has a different hairstyle except Cancer.
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."
What did one copper say to the other? C U.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Q: Why did the cat get a ticket?
A: He was caught littering.
Why is it annoying to eat by basketball players? Because they dribble all the time!
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philipe Philope.
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
There are only 2 genders: if you have a dick, or a pussy.
What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?
Netflix and pill.
Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?
Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!
What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."
"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."
What do planes and offices have in common?
They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.
A nickname to call your short GF:
Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok