Worst Jokes Ever
Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.
Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?
One's a superhero, one's a command.
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?
"Baby, now we got bad blood."
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
What do you call a gay Eskimo?
A snow blower.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."