Worst Jokes Ever
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
"When Republicans do politics, it's a crime. But when Democrats commit crimes, it's politics." ---Tyler Nixon
What does FNAF mean? Five Nasty Ass Fools.
What's grosser than gross? A truckload of dead babies.
What's grosser than that? A live one at the bottom.
What's grosser than that? When he eats his way out.
Grosser than that? When he goes back for more.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
My jokes are like kids with cancer; they never get old.
Why did Michael Jackson go to jail? He was feeling a little Randy.
When Covid spreads through food, but you realized you live in Africa.
Why do midgets work at Tesco?
Because every little helps.
Cannibal eats missionary, gets a taste for religion.
If you bet on Russian roulette, even if you win, you still lose.
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.
I got my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful cunt sat in his wheelchair all day.
Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.
One day you see a girl climb a pole and ask her, "Why are you climbing that pole?" "Because a boy paid me to." "He did that to see your underwear." "Oh. Ok."
The next day you see her do the same thing. "Why are you doing the same thing?" "Well, I got him this time. I did not wear underwear."
Why can’t Indian women drive?
They’re too used to riding their camels.
I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.
Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I've got 5 fingers, she will get 2.