Worst Jokes Ever
Ctrl, Alt, Deletus, because of thine fetus.
The Twin Towers should've known they were gonna get hit when their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
Why do orphans have gross cakes?
Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
What did the science textbook say to the math textbook?
You've got a lot of problems!
What did the headless horseman say to the woman?
"Give me head."
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?
A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
My dad went to get milk from Tesco’s.
He never came back.
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.
What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?
Special forces.
A little riddle...
Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?
...
Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.
Why did the chicken cross the road to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple actually got picked.
I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"