Worst Jokes Ever
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.
He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.
What's the difference between yo mama and a fat ugly pig? - I never fucked that fat ugly pig...
Yo mama so dumb, when the bartender said "beer is on the house" she grabbed a ladder.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?
One's a superhero, one's a command.
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
Your hair is so far back, you left it at your last address.
Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"
Spiderman: "Yes."
Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."
Spiderman: "Why?"
Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."
What is Hitler's favorite animal?
A dolphin.