Worst Jokes Ever
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
My therapist once said, "time heals all wounds." So I stabbed him. Now we wait...
If messyourself was on the Titanic, he would die first.
What do orphans and garbage have in common?
They’re both in the street, and no one wants to pick them up.
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
what did Germany and Austria do after ww2?
accepted all art students
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.
Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?
A. Crayons.
The best joke in the world is me.
Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."
What is red and cries and spins around and around?
- A baby in a microwave.
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
The driving instructor.
Why did Michael Jackson get away with it? Because he's a smooth criminal.
I used to be into necrophilia. Until that rotten cunt split on me...
What did the bread say to the peanut butter? "I think your nuts."
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.