Worst Jokes Ever

Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?

Neither one of them, they eat out.

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?

Fast food.

Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?

Osmoses.

A nickname to call your short GF:

Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."

What is Hitler's favorite animal?

A dolphin.

What do you call a flat emo?

A chopping block🖤

What's the difference between a Mexican and a drawer?

The drawer has papers.

I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"

My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...

So I threw a coconut at her.

I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!

What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?

Father-in-law.

Why do orphans use water for cereal? Cause their dad never came back with the milk.

And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."

But John came fifth and won a toaster.

Yo mama is so fat, they had to flood the Super Bowl to give her a bath.

I am no longer anonymous.

Q. Why do orphans love elevators?

A. Because they're the only things to raise them.

Why can't orphans eat chips?

Because they come in family size.

A Muslim enters a building with 100 passengers and an airplane.

My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.

Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...