Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?
Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
Why is Hitler better than Biden?
Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
What's the difference between yo mama and a fat ugly pig? - I never fucked that fat ugly pig...
Yo mama so dumb, when the bartender said "beer is on the house" she grabbed a ladder.
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.
He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.
After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.
It's in my basement.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...
...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.
Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
My girlfriend gave me the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset.
The wife asked, "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"
Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."
Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maid: "No, the gardener did."
Wife: "So how much do you want?"
I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."