Worst Jokes Ever
And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
What do you call a flat emo?
A chopping block🖤
A Muslim enters a building with 100 passengers and an airplane.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a drawer?
The drawer has papers.
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
Why can't orphans eat chips?
Because they come in family size.
What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?
Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
Yo mama is so fat, they had to flood the Super Bowl to give her a bath.
I am no longer anonymous.
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’
I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
What is the difference between hungry and horny?
The cucumber goes to different places.
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.
It's in my basement.