Worst Jokes Ever
I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."
She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."
If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?
I played the Angry Birds theme while watching a 9/11 documentary.
What does an orphan call a kidnapping?
A surprise adoption.
If you pour paint in your eyes, the paint loses the 't'.
Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.
What is the difference between hungry and horny?
The cucumber goes to different places.
Why are Americans stupid? They shoot everyone that goes to school.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a speaker?
Rolling Loud 🎸🎸
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
I went over to a crying child and said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage!
Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?
Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.
What do you call an Asian telephone?
Ling Ling.
"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there, son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.
I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."
Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.