Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.

My mum's a carrot.

What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?

A Shawarmano Cameldo!

Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?

Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!

A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?

The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.

What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite song?

"Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes."

I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.

I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."

What do planes and offices have in common?

They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.

Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?

A. Crayons.

How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?

Put barbecue sauce on it.

What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?

Netflix and pill.

What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?

Consensual Rapper 7.

Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.

I played the Angry Birds theme while watching a 9/11 documentary.

How is slavery different from Pokémon?

The types you can have.

A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.

His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"

The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."

What do you call a fat midget?

Jigglypuff.

Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."

There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.

I don't like consistency. Last night, I spent three hours looking at a room and thinking, "I need a flower pot here, and the couch should be on the right." Eventually, the police arrived and led me away from my neighbor's window.