Worst Jokes Ever
Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
Cheap oil, no immigration, and no school shootings.
Corona did what Trump promised.
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.
What’s the best part about fucking an emo chick?... she's limited edition.
Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.
Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?
Answer: The box said 3-5 years!
Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer couldn't find it.
This homeless lady called me ugly, so I told her, "Okay, then I'm going home."
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
I cry when I chop up onions.
I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.
What's worse than ants in your pants? Michael Jackson.
Roses are red, violets are violets, my dad died in 9/11 and he was a good pilot.
How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Well, it's not 53, 'cause my basement's still dark.
Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?
Because they always like to come in a little behind.
Your forehead is so big, your mom spent half of the time in the delivery room giving birth to just your head.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?
Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.