Worst Jokes Ever

What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn't need a rope to hang.

Broccoli is like anal sex. If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.

An emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five... the tree left her hanging.

Father: "I don't trust you. You poured your seed in my daughter's belly."

Son: "But Paah, you can't fire me."

Father: "You're lucky you're my brother too, or I'd kill you."

A man walks up to a priest. The man says, "I am Jesus Christ." The priest says, "No, you are not my son." The man says, "Follow me." The man walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Jesus Christ, you're back!"

April Fools' joke: Go to an orphanage and say your parents came back.

Richard: Mom, someone called me gay.

Richard's mom: Why didn't you slap him across his face?

Richard: No, I couldn't.

Richard's mom: Why?

Richard: Because he was cute.

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

I asked an emo, "Do they get jealous when their phone dies?"

Spongebob and Jacko have one thing in common.

They both routinely place meat in small buns.

I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.

What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?

A beagle!

Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.

When you're working in the Twin Towers and your computer connects to the airplane wifi.

What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise.

Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.

I hate myself.

I bet a disabled kid on a wheelchair that if he could catch me, I'd give him 1000 dollars. He said deal, and I went upstairs.

A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."