Worst Jokes Ever
John Lennon: "What a nice view."
John walked outside.
He got shot.
:skull:
So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?
I was digging a hole in the garden until I found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered I was digging a hole in the garden.
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
Enough with the Nazi jokes.
They make me führeious!
They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group.
I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Why can’t orphans learn about ancient Egypt?
Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
Why did the astronaut return to Earth?
She went on her launch break! 🚀🥪😋
What is the smartest month?
April - No one can fool it.
Donkeys are cool.
Little Johnny tried phone sex, but the holes were too small.
Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year.
Patient to doctor: "Will I be ok, Doc?"
Doctor: "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now."
Patient: "I don't do that astrology stuff."
Doctor: "Nor me. My thermometer just broke."
Why do Indians have a red dot on their head?
Because they're recording.
Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.
Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”