Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Helium

    • I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.

  • 0

    • Kid

    • How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Well, it's not 53, 'cause my basement's still dark.

  • 0

    • Dad

    • Roses are red, violets are violets, my dad died in 9/11 and he was a good pilot.

  • 6

    • Forehead

    • Your forehead is so big, your mom spent half of the time in the delivery room giving birth to just your head.

  • 1

    • Rapist

    • Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?

    Because they always like to come in a little behind.

  • 2

    • Wife

    • My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.

  • 1

    • KGB

    • The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.

    The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.

    The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.

    The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:

    "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

  • 1

    • Abortion

    • In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.

    You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.

  • 4