Worst Jokes Ever
Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"
Spiderman: "Yes."
Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."
Spiderman: "Why?"
Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."
Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?
Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was out-standing.
Dad: What did you learn in school today?
Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
I once told a chemistry joke... sadly, it got no reaction.
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
Why do orphans cry at insurance places?
They got offered the family plan.
Yo mama so fat that Will Smith could slap her from a mile away.
Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.
What does a cow say? Moo.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
He wanted to be wanted.
I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.
Why is the rum gone?
My name is Ethan, and I don't find this funny.