Worst Jokes Ever
Relationships are like fat people.
Most of them don’t work out.
My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.
"Did you go to the light show?"
"Yeah, it was lit."
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
What do you call a selfie that is taken by an orphan?
Answer: A family photo.
What did the north tower say to the south tower during the summer? Get ready for fall!
I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.
"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.
So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.
Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple's actually get picked.
I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
Whatever happened to the emo? (wrong answer only)
Q: Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?
A: Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.
Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).
Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.