Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple's actually get picked.

What did the north tower say to the south tower during the summer? Get ready for fall!

What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?

Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!

A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.

What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.

What do you call a selfie that is taken by an orphan?

Answer: A family photo.

what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?

don't leave me hanging.

What did the orphan say to the other? "Quickly Robin, to the Batmobile!"

Blue Takis?

Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.

I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.

What do emos and the Lorax have in common?

They both hang with trees.

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

If messyourself was on the Titanic, he would die first.

Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.

So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.

Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?

Answer: The box said 3-5 years!

My therapist once said, "time heals all wounds." So I stabbed him. Now we wait...