Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A stego-sore-ass.
What does a pedophile mostly pound on a piano?
A minor.
I pushed the kid in the wheelchair down the hill, but before I did, I set his wheels on fire and called him "hot wheels."
Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.
White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?
Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!
Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?
Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
My wife cheated on me with my brother.
She didn't have a sister, so I improvised, and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come.
Why did the hooker quit her job?
She had a nut allergy.
I realized that a really bad joke and my life are the exact same thing.
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.
I've always been suicidal. Some might say, "Why haven't I actually done the act?" I'll just say, well, I hate myself too much so I thought I'd stay around for the punishment of staying alive.
The woman saw a cute lookin' cop. She had pulled up right next to him and said, "Hey, can I get your number?" He said, "Yeah, it's 911," and drove off.
Any game: "Are you a boy or a girl?"
Non-binary people: *cries*
What's an astronaut's favorite candy? A Milky Way!
My friend entered a pun contest. He entered ten, figuring at least one of them would win, but no pun in ten did.
Why does Michael Jackson like Doge Miner? He thinks it's about minors dressed in doge costumes.
Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?
A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.
Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.
Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.