Worst Jokes Ever

I like my women the way I like my coffee, and I don't drink coffee.

I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.

I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.

My dad went out for milk. It's been 15 years and I still have to eat my cereal dry.

What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.

Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).

Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.

Whatever happened to the emo? (wrong answer only)

Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.

Q: Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?

A: Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.

My therapist once said, "time heals all wounds." So I stabbed him. Now we wait...

If messyourself was on the Titanic, he would die first.

What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?

Panera dread.

Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer couldn't find it.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple's actually get picked.

What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?

Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.

I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!

So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.