Worst Jokes Ever
So, I was going out the door and I see my dwarf neighbor at the bus stop. I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with "fu.. off." So, I zip up my backpack and keep going to work.
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "Johnny, do you pray before you eat?" Little Johnny says, "I don't need to, my mum makes good food."
What's the only part of a vegetable you cannot eat?
Wheelchair.
Depression hits harder than my dad.
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa did, not screaming and shouting like his passengers.
What's the worst thing to star in?
An amber alert.
Isn't Gwen the most thoughtful person?
Enough with the Nazi jokes.
They make me führeious!
Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.
Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
I've realized that suicide would solve all my problems... if I could just get the right people to try it.
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns.
Yo mama so ugly, she went to the bathroom and scared the sh*t out of the toilet.
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!
Friend: "You are so ugly." Me: "You can't be talking, you give Freddy Krueger nightmares."
Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways, wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes.
I feel bad for the people who died in 2001. Those poor terrorists died doing their job.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a frog?
One jumps in ponds, the other leaps over the border. :)
The number 13? Not on my watch!
What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex?
Honey, I'm home!
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.