Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between a gay man and a fridge? A fridge doesn't moan when you put meat in it.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
Say all you want about priests, but at least they drive slowly in school zones.
If I were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
Man: What's up?
Me: I'm annoyed.
Man: Why?
Me: I stole my gf's heart.
Man: So why are you annoyed?
Me: Everyone else in the surgery room gave me weird looks.
Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
A. Toothpaste.
Some people think incest jokes are funny.
I just think it's all relative.
What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?
- A baseball bat.
Knock knock! Who's there? It's Dave! Dave who? Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
What do incest families do on Halloween?
Pumpkin.
Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.
What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?
They both have barcodes.
What did Hitler say when he was blindfolded?
I can Nazi!
A wife and husband were setting up their computer, and the husband made the password "my dick." But the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.
I tried dressing up as the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers for the office costume party.
It didn't land too well.
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."
A computer science student is studying under a tree, and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"
The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want.'"
The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
So, we all know that old kids' joke: why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Well, why was 10 scared? Because he was in the middle of 9 11.
Why do orphans hate going to Costco? Because they need a parent to get samples.