Worst Jokes Ever
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
My life.
Tell me when you get it.
What mental illness do terrorists suffer from?
Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED).
Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?
A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.
My friend has a dry sense of humor.
Probably because her body was decomposed ages ago.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
A man walks into a diner one day, walks up to the counter, and proceeds to order a bowl of chili.
The waitress says that the man sitting next to him just ordered the last bowl they had. That man was just sitting there, not eating the chili.
After watching him not eating for a while, the first man asks him, "Are you going to eat that?"
The second man replies, "No, you can have it if you want."
So the first man takes the bowl and starts eating.
About halfway through the bowl, he's chewing when he feels a crunch. He looks down only to see half a dead rat sitting in the chili.
He immediately throws all of it up, back into the bowl.
The second man looks at him and says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got too."
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark.
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
Why can't disabled people make jokes?
Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?
What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?
Men toes.
Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.
Dad: Rubbing on the horse’s chest and butt.
Little Johnny: What are you doing?
Dad: Checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it.
Little Johnny: Oh well, I think the mall man wants to buy mom.
Women are like the Twin Towers. After you smash them, and if some little people start jumping out, the government is gonna tax the shit outta you.
What's worse than 3 babies in one trashcan?
One baby in three trashcans.
Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.
Why is Sam Ryan a redditor? Because he is.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.
Q: What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
What do you call a fight between an illegal immigrant and a pedophile? Alien vs Predator.